Saturday, June 07, 2003
Catching the Blues.
Now... Belated Happy Birthday to Harle, who is now a member of the 'shit-i-am-eighteen' population. I believe you celebrated your birthday with the rest of the world considering as how many 'Happy Birthday's were being played.^^
It started out with dinner at Italianni's - angelhair pasta all the way down to two bowls of fabulous tiramisu... unfortunately, I didn't seem to ave much of an appetite though. Which has become something of a habit lately when I'm not at home.
Tons of things went on - fun, fun, fun, especially that moment with the frog and all - but heck. That's a funny story for some other time because right now, I really don't feel all that... funny.
Am talking to Fia via msn messenger, and in my own way trying to figure out why the heck I'm so tired when I've barely done anything today. And considering that Ms. Annie mentioned that I've had a leap of progress - dramatic leap in some way, and that she told my Mom I was welcome to go to Hard Rock this Thursday night - family and all, free of charge if I wanted to, I should be jumping around, being my hyper self.
I guess I'm just... edgy. On a lot of things.
I've been having this daily tally (Harle, not one word on this. There's a nasty voice in the back of my head that's saying if you manage to mention the unmentionable with animosity again I will scream) that started mainly because it seems I can't escape some things...afterall. Not even if I move. The reminders just keep comin' in tenfold.
So, so far, here are the tally's/tallies for yesterday and the day before - today's not over yet, so I can skip that and post it whenever.
June 5 - IIIII-I (6)
June 6 - IIIII-IIII (9)
I'm not going to mention what the tally's for just yet. It's my little secret for now.
melina @ 2:13:00 AM )O(
Wednesday, June 04, 2003
MG, The first Wednesday Meeting, and My Journal.
I met up with the Gang today. Rollcall includes 3/5ths of the Pantheon (counting myself), my darling kid - Hope, one Dog, Voltz, Latish, and Cy.
It was great - DESPITE the fact that the population seems to have increased tenfold. En quote from what I told Hope and Harle when we arrived at the appointed meeting place (read: McDonald's Taft), "Can someone please explain to me the La Salle theory of multiplication?"
I'm SERIOUS!!! The Frosh are SWARMING! I don't remember last year (consequently my frosh year) being as BAD as it was this afternoon. I swear, the McDo staff must've needed therapy after the THRONG of new students lining up. Gyeh! And GEEZ! I know that Freshmen have the tendency to wander around in groups - but we (meaning me, and my former block) NEVER wandered around in PACKS!!! Five to six is bloody fine! Please! I know and completely understand the feeling - KUNG MAWAWALA KA, MABUTI NALANG NA MAWALA KANG MAY KASAMA (trans: If you get lost, better to get lost with someone along).
But please! By the Goddess! ^^ I think of a bloody Tsunami when I look at them. And I am not kidding! And for the life of me - they happen to be bigger and taller and *blahblahblah* NOISIER than I ever was in my first year at DLSU.
*coughcough* Mama is currently laughing due to my strangely amusing comments. Heh.
On other news though, Harle is celebrating her 18th birthday (WHOO! The big One-Eight!^^) this coming Friday with a dinner out to GB3 (*blinks*... side comment: that... without the 3 would mean another matter altogether according to block lingo...) to eat at Italliani's and have dessert at another place nearby. What we'll do afterwards, according to Harle, we'll decide when we get there so i am presently in my 'begging-phase' to actually buy time to stay until 12 m.n. - I have presently suggested that my parents go out for a date, such is the situation that they've done in the past... *sighs* although this time it seems as though that option is not available since my youngest (and seemingly heartthrob ~ oh pity the world...) baby brother cannot be left home alone. *makes a face* Shucks. There goes that idea. I guess I'll have to pray that 'Finding Nemo' (GYAH!!! I WANNA WATCH THAAAAAT!!!) is showing in theatres soon... pweh.
Now... to something that I have been working on since i lost my head to Crazy/Beautiful.
Nothing really, considering that most of my thoughts go here anyway, but I just thought that it'd be cute to mention it since I might (hopefully) scan the little collage thing I put there. The quote I merged with the collage itself was written by Isis sometime in the early months before fourth year highschool... or was that first year college? I forget.
I've been on a quote-trip lately - mostly my Mom and Jim Paredes' fault since I've taken up Stichomancy(?) especially since my cards have somewhat 'burned-out' in the sense that I'm thinking of moving up. Harle once suggested that I learn Tarot and buy Merlin cards - gorgeous by the way, but somehow... that's not it. I'm doing research on celtic divination and whatever ideas I might come up with.
Anyway, here are a few quotes that have caught my eye:
"In a much shorter time, with a much bigger rush of emotion."
~ Isis Eden
This was, in basic reference to the ever timeless topic of LOVE.
As Hope once mentioned the other day: everything went to hell simultaneously. Mai her troubles with the man she happens to love incredibly, Kai with Flip, Isis with Ube and the other person issue, Harle and her ever-constant angst-trip with THE BOY, and Me with the very confuzzling issues that are jumping back at me at every turn. You all know that story, and right now I think it's best that I lie low since a lot of people are probably (and very likely) sick of hearing about Capt. Bakal, my ex.
But then, most people who've heard the barrage of insane emotions that have been racking the Pantheon, the people around it and others who care usually spin out of completely control.
Kuya actually told me that he hopes I'm getting better... that I'll be happy soon. Afterall, he hates to see me suffer the way I do, and over one person, no doubt.
But I AM... plant your own garden and decorate your own soul instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers...
I've been doing that, and no doubt, in spite of the stinging feelings (Kai, Flip, I'm glad you're both better now - I am ALWAYS here for you... both of you, if you ever need anything just holler) that can't seem to be ignored either which way - everyone mentioned in the above phrase knows and can make their own happiness. As my Mama told me once (Goddess I sound like Victor from Ally M.!) "you make your own happiness". And frankly speaking - it's true.
I wouldn't be Mel D. though if I didn't have a little bit of tragedy in my life - I'm like an Irish legend, hopelessly romantic, cynical, tragic and happy at the same time - like a song or a hymn singing in the green rolling hills. ~ Yes! I now have a new OFFICIAL title for when I re-update Of The Four -> Points of Five. You'll get it when I edit.^^ ~
And so, there it is.
Was it Hope or was it Harle that told me at Starbucks this morning that "everything went wonky after your debut' - I guess that's perfectly true since a LOT of changes happened after my official coming-of-age. The following day (April 22) I'd properly initiated Isis, Maia and Harle, went bonding with my girls, and then had several weeks wthat can be classified under 'the world going nuts'.
And with that I now explain the application of Sis' lovely quote to my life - it's ALL coming back - not because I want it to, because it seems intent on resurfacing from my memory banks. And as Hope told me this morning: the brain sometimes releases memories so that it can remind you. I forget the rest. Thanks for being the voice of reason for that moment cher. I needed it, though it seems to have barely gotten wherever.
So here I am, feeling like a bloody idiot - moron, lovable (I hope,) but a moron nonetheless.
I need to look for the person who said: Love makes us all fools. Because he/she/it definitely got THAT right.
So I guess that's ONE quote for the day... I need to vamoose now, i am DEFINITELY late for MG and have to print a couple of things before I do my exit.
Today's THEME: Half-Life [Duncan Shiek]
Why? Because Flip's got a .wav and I wanna hear it.
melina @ 2:30:00 AM )O(
Monday, June 02, 2003
Updates on AB and the second week of school.
She is a Wiccan by choice with Roman Catholic roots thanks to her parents and believes everything has a reason, and that
fate does not equal coincidence.
Hover By series
Snapshots of Silver Guitar
Noelle "Ielle" Pico
- - - - - - - - - - -
- - - - - - - - - - -
"I love Amy Lee from Evanescence and admire her style in singing. Her voice is heartbreaking and it just gets to you. I'm not saying I want to be her, but to be able to sing as good as she can, and as honest as she can... that's enough."
- Ielle on her singing idols.
Give Me Freedom
Coffee and Nonesense
On Butterfly Wings
ON MY BOOKSHELF:
The Last Unicorn - Peter S. Beagle
Titania's Book of Hours - Titania Hardie
Enchanted - Titania Hardie
In the Circle - Elen Hawke
>>Note to: Doggieniichan
Songs of Sanctuary
Dances of Time
The Eternal Knot
Leean Rimes - Twisted Angel
Tori Amos - Scarlet's Walk
Evanescence - Fallen
Santana - Shaman
~any album as long as it's theirs
i can't see tomorrow
dancing in the dark
dinner serenade (042103)
of roses and rain
Template was designed by Melina Dauphin and encoded by Maia D. Special thanks to Meemee for providing Maia the necessary tutorials for CSS.
The faeries by Brian Froud are scanned from my own Faerie Oracle deck. These are not my works of art, and I scanned the images only for my personal use.