In the middle of a free period. {{ for the names, please hover }}
I like my new college. I like the less stifled atmostphere. Even if I feel a little more than a bit shaky - at least it's a fresh start.
I updated AB a bit more... and I fixed the ShoutOuts so hat they show again. I finished the design I want for the site - sent it to Maia for the actual making. Gyeh.
I'm writing again - going nuts over the projects I left hanging last schoolyear. Hopefully, schedule permitting I get to accomplish a lot more this time around.
I'm re-writing whatever I've got for Of the Four because it got stuck in a bloody rut and I couldn't continue. *shrug* It didn't seem... complete. And I wanted to kick myself for the reason why.
I began the story, Isis wasn't in it. And now that I've re-written it, she is. Because she deserves to be. Because it makes the Circle complete.
)O(
A lot of things have changed. And in little ways I have to... though the basic essence of 'me' still remains - thankfully intact.
I'm trying to believe things again. I want to. I hope to be able to.
*shakes head* Working again on songs now that I'm permitted to talk again. Flip's working on the chords for my No One's An Island. I am sorely tempted to ask for something along the tempo of Avril's Knockin' On Heaven's Door... slow, comtemplative, slightly depressing but meaningful. Afterall, the title sets off the mood. Kind of like a call to all the people who've ever felt alone.
I spoke to Marc last night - heh. He asked if it was normal for a person to feel depressed over nothing in particular.
I told him, yeah.
It's called being human. Afterall, sometimes there's really nothing to feel high about and then something ugly sinks in but you don't know what to call it, or how to describe it. It's not something that you enjoy, I don't when it hits me... but it shouldn't be something that hinders a person.
Funny how when I get that way, I sit in my room, pick up a pen and paper and see if something comes out. If not, I lie down for awhile to rest my head - it could simply be overwork in the brain department.
But if that still isn't the problem, I turn to my CDs or to my piano.
Heh. Not comfort food. But music.
)O(
I can't believe how much music I've made in the past few months. For those of you who are wondering what I mean, you can take a sidetrip to the bar on the right of your screen to see what I mean.
In the past month NHB has created three listener-worthy songs, or so my friends tell me...
Then there are my two instrumentals - both of which I enjoy even if they are short. There's One Step and the ton of other songs that have added a different flavor to my style.
And lately, I don't need to look for inspiration. It's right here all around me.
It's been roughly three months since I left Autumn's Bounty hanging. Episode two was supposed to bring to light the complications and conditions that pushed Melina Pilar to run to the safe haven of Ireland. I guess I stopped writing because I ran out of things to write.
And it's only now that I can continue.
Afterall, with the series of events that have happened in the past few months, I can now explain what it was to meet up with an old flame again under unexpected circumstances. What it's like to have your dream at your fingertips - my music - and what it is to need comfort elsewhere.
For those who don't know what song I'm talking about - it's One Step Forward, Two Steps Back. The title, though albeit a bit long, best describes the circumstances of the melody. You move forward, but then you're forced to take two steps back. You want to get to the future, but the past pulls at you in such a way that you have to look back.
In my own little line of thinking it's a way to say that there is no tomorrow without today, and there wouldn't be a today if it weren't for yesterday.
Heh.
How quaint that it should sound so similar to Morpheus' speech in Matrix: Reloaded. >.< Sue me, Hugo Weaving looked hot.^^ Heheheheh...
But seriously. It's just how I see things now. How I manage to build up these little bits of philosophy though, I don't know.
)O(
Two days into school and things are going okay.
To Kuya - thanks for the concern.^^ You the best. Heh. Even if your computer has that horrible tendency to hang just when you finally (heheheh...yes, I'm rubbing it in.^^) decide to comment.
I'm... doing better now. I'm a little nervous about this Saturday though... but if i wasn't, I'd be totally thick-in-the-head, now, wouldn't I?
It's Dhel's debut this Saturday. And most, because not all of the people in the block, will be there to celebrate it with her.
Heaven knows why she chose me to be a part of her Treasures considering that she and I haven't really spoken since... well, since things went bad for me in the block. I will not reiterate that story, I've told it enough times as it is.
*raps her fingers on the console*
Well, anyway, at least I can be grateful that Ward (MY GITARISTA!!!! ^^ ~after Flip), Kim and Crissy will be there. I can be grateful that these three will likely speak to me at the party proper.
No doubt tongues will be wagging at my arrival. To hell with it. Let them talk, I say now - kahit medyo alanganin parin... it's not as if I'll have to put up with them anymore.
Heh.
Harle's offered to 'demand' my attention for that night. Though I won't rely too much on that. I'll be the epitome of politeness. But I won't give a hoot to whatever snide remarks might come after.
*dry laugh* Alright, some of you might call me paranoid, some might say I give these people too much credit in that department. But, well, knowing the personality of a certain Marie, she'll HAVE to have her word in. Especially about me.
Gyeh. Why do people compete when there's no reason at all?
They even turn it into a war sometimes.
)O(
Next Topic.
A Question Posed To The (wonderful) Men In My Life:
I sense a pattern growing, mes amis... and it has now come to my attention that as a female, it would be best if I asked the male species to comment on this.^^ Heh.
Why is it, that the guys who end up eyeing me...? Contain a majority of the following characteristics:
a. Arrogance.
A familiar trait in a guy. For a more familiar term: Machismo. Blah.
b.Pagka-siga. Trans: For lack of better term - "bad ass"
c. Thrill-seeker.
Weeeeeeeeeell, we could actually put that down as into being v. physical.
d. Body-build.
My girls and I agreed on this. The men who turn our eyes are pretty...built. And so far, men like these have also wandered my way.
e. Hair.
Or rather... lack of.
Anyway... let's get to the case-studies, shall we?
EXHIBIT A: Mark Torres (I *think* that's his name...)
Description>> Roller-blader who lived next door to me when we lived in the Makati area.
Characteristics>> Everything except D.
He always had to impress me, y'know? Even to the point of asking his friend to 'demo' a few x-games inspired moves infront of me.
He used to settle for riding a bike. But when he *somehow* discovered my ever-growing interest and love for hockey and rollerblading - the kook decided to buy a pair for himself.
Next thing I know he's goin' around and a-round the neighborhood - my street in particular, once, twice -- FOURTEEN times in a day! ***dry laugh* YES, I counted. I counted alongside my yaya. Blah.
He even used to ask about my name, my age, my school. Talk about... obsessed. And incredibly - painfullytorpe.
He NEVER even went close ENOUGH to TALK to me. GYEH! And to think - HE LIVED NEXT DOOR. Like what? FIFTEEN steps away? *laughs* Ich. The only time he got close enough was to tap my shoulder - undoubtedly a dare from his friends - when i had my back turned.
He bladed by with his 'posse' and I turned to look. He retreated to his house.
Bwes.
EXHIBIT B: (And the most... 'popular' of the cases) LARS.
Description>> Melina Dauphin's ex. 'Nuff said.
Characteristics>> ALL of the above. *snickersnicker as she looks at letter E*
At present... I have only seen him ONCE since my party. Yesterday in school. With his friends.
He... confuses me.
Now don't get me wrong. Especially, you, Kuya. I no longer have any expectations... well not as many anyway... but all I wanna say is that I'm... very suspicious of how he's acting right now.
Or rather, how the people close to him are acting.
*shudders* Unnerving. But then, nevermind.
EXHIBIT C: A boy in one of my classes.
Description>> New blood in the Lasallian community.
Characteristics>> I'm not exactly going to jump the gun but everything EXCEPT C, because I haven't really spoken to him yet.
He's a freshman in one of my classes. And though I know I'll end up sounding slightly conceited - I think he was checking me out. Or, more likely, wondering why the heck his new classmate - NOT of his block, possibly an upperclasswoman cannot speak.
Gyeh.
It's just on the weird side considering that I *did* make a new friend in that class - Scholastican, lower batch, who recognized me. I turned around to speak to her and *boom* there he was, at the back row, his eyes focuised - i think on me.
And to think I was the only one in that area of the room. Front row, corner seat. Usual area for someone who'd prefer not to integrate herself into a group she's slightly wary of.
His look unnerved me. Unsettled even. Considering that LARS used to give me that very same look.
EXHIBIT D:
Description>> A model. (Harle, you know this story)
Characteristics>> A, B and D.
He's - I estimate roughly six-feet plus, has longish hair reminiscent of Faramir from LOTR and moves like a goddamned Adonis.
Where'd I meet him? He's the son of one of my Mom's friends.
How did I meet him? We were visiting because I needed to ask tita's opinion on a dress that I need for Dhel's upcoming debut. We were outside in the 'shop' portion of the house and he comes waltzing along half-naked in shorts, socks and rubbershoes.
How did the introductions go? He 'prowled' and 'hinted' using a multitude of body-language as me, Mom and Tita sat at the dining table. He didn't have to hang around. Heaven's sakes - you don't drink your vitamins and then stand as if limbo were about to drop splat on your lap. 'Nuff said.
He's a model. Which is cool. He's also planning to become a doctor - which is better. Brains and Looks work better together.
Unfortunately, I don't play the cat-and-mouse-chess. And he's attached. I don't poach.
And frankly, I'm not really - seriously intersted in a man these days.
I'm happy enough as I am now. Well... happy in the sense that I'm content with my life.
... which now brings us to the question my Mom half-dragged out of me:
These 'prowlers' (new term, yes, I know) - why are they interested in me?
Mom says because I look like a challenge. And because I don't swoon. Because I give off a certain aloofness that get these men thinking 'why isn't she looking like the rest?'
Gyeh. Because - frankly, I don't look. I don't encourage, and it's not a top priority.
When I get hit by attraction - as in knock-my-farden-socks-off (which has only happened once), only THEN does it get to rank on my list.
Melina Noelle Dauphin is 18 years of age born on the 18th of April 1985 at 9:25 am, on the cusp of Aries and Taurus.
She is a Wiccan by choice with Roman Catholic roots thanks to her parents and believes everything has a reason, and that
fate does not equal coincidence.
She is surrently studying at De La Salle University and will be taking up Behavioral Sciences come 1st term, 2003.
Her great loves include her music, dancing, writing, reading, hockey, Tolkien, Dragonlance, the Mighty Ducks (both animated
and the non-animated), and art in general.
She is known in various names such as Mel, Lina, Mia D (Devlin?), Noelle/Noey, Noei, Nyre, Lynne, Lillie, Noele,
Nibblet...all depending on what fandom/ mood/ life/ timeframe/ universe she's in. (MPD anyone?)
She wishes she were part Irish, is desperately learning how to speak Gaelic (and Cajun) and dreams of setting foot in New Orleans
in time for Mardi Gras, or on the shores of Ireland for Midsummer's Eve.
In the absence of a REAL lovelife, Mr.Bugholds the monopoly of my heart.^^
No Holds Barred Noelle "Ielle" Pico
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PHOTO UNAVAILABLE
- - - - - - - - - - -
status: vocalist/songwriter
"I love Amy Lee from Evanescence and admire her style in singing. Her voice is heartbreaking
and it just gets to you. I'm not saying I want to be her, but
to be able to sing as good as she can, and as honest as she can... that's enough."
- Ielle on her singing idols.
tracks:
Foundation
Imperfection (Guinevere)
Give Me Freedom
Coffee and Nonesense
PERSONAL COMPOSITIONS:
Covenant Broken
One Last Storm
Sleep (Never Again)
One Step Forward (Two Steps Back)
Jump Into the Ocean
Romance
Resignation (instrumental)
Lost To Me (instrumental)
Martyr (NEW)
Pray With Me (NEW)
On Butterfly Wings my earlier attempts at songwriting
Gotta Let Go
No Regrets
Were You Even There
Scents of Lavender
Fork in the Road
ON MY BOOKSHELF: Book of Spells (II) - Marian Green Between Blinks - Jim Paredes The Vampire Chronicles - Anne Rice Irish Jewels - Nora Roberts Three Sisters Island - Nora Roberts
Wishlist 2003 (Christmas ed.)
BOOKS The Last Unicorn - Peter S. Beagle Titania's Book of Hours - Titania Hardie Enchanted - Titania Hardie In the Circle - Elen Hawke
>>Note to: Doggieniichan
CDs Celtic Emotions
Troika Goddess Faeries
Adeimus Songs of Sanctuary Dances of Time The Eternal Knot
i can't see tomorrow
(but with you it's okay)
the whole of the moon [celtic fayre]
one of these says [michelle branch]
breathe [michelle branch]
blame it on the weatherman [b*witched]
what can i do [the corrs]
a sorta fairytale [tori amos]
do what you have to do [sarah mclachlan]
unwell [matchbox20]
head over feet [alanis morissette]
colourblind [darius danesh]
why don't you & i [santana; alex band]
last goodbye [atomic kitten]
ielle's bracelet
swing swing [all american rejects]
teenaged dirtbag [wheatus]
going under [evanescence]
somewhere out there [our lady peace]
i think god can explain [splender]
tourniquet [evanescence]
system [qotd ost]
bring me to life [evanescence]
imaginary [evanescence]
taking over me [evanescence]
dancing in the dark
baby boy [beyonce feat. sean paul]
shake yer tailfeather [nelly feat p. diddy/murphy lee]
thoia thiong [r. kelly]
ignition [r. kelly]
smooth [santana feat. rob thomas]
soundtrack collection
final fantasy: the spirits within
lotr: the fellowship of the ring
lotr: the two towers
treasure planet
queen of the damned
vision of escaflowne
dinner serenade (042103)
harana [parokya ni edgar]
stay [lisa loeb]
small two of pieces [xenogears ost]
runaway [the corrs]
hands clean [alanis morissette]
my immortal [evanescence]
wherever you will go [the calling]
for you [the calling]
Template was designed by Melina Dauphin
and encoded by Maia D.
Special thanks to Meemee for providing Maia the
necessary tutorials for CSS.
The images on this blog are mine, taken from
my computer. The moving pentagram - I do not remember where I found, but if you made this, feel free to
email me so I can give you due credit.
The faeries by Brian Froud are scanned from my own Faerie Oracle deck. These are not my works of art, and I scanned
the images only for my personal use.
